She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
