Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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