marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
