I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
