My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i dont even know how to be here
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Randomize
