I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
