You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
