saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
