Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
