hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
