Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Barsexuality is the new black.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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