I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
