Plan B is the new Plan A
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
