I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
