**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
