Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
