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ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
