I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize