Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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