Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
