Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
