you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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