Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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