nut hugger
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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