i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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