her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
