Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
