I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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