You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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