Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
