Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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