Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
