I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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