Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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