No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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