this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
