Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
