Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
