He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize