I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I am naked and annoyed.
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