Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
