It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize