It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
