Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
