what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
