Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
