I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
