so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
