So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
