I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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