Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
