i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
