why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
as a side note pls kill me
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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