I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
