In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
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