I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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