i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
