you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize