So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
