If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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